Love and the Lie of I Will Love You Forever OSHO International Newsletter August, 2018

Love: we fall into it, fall out of it, and we habitually lie about it. Hands up who hasnt said, I will love you forever. It sounds great and dont we love to hear it. Imagine being told. I will love you for around three days and then, knowing how I am, Ill probably start

Love: we fall into it, fall out of it, and we habitually lie about it. Hands up who hasn’t said, “I will love you forever.” It sounds great and don’t we love to hear it. Imagine being told. “I will love you for around three days and then, knowing how I am, I’ll probably start getting irritated by your habits and then slowly (or rapidly) go off you.” Not very romantic, and yet likely to be more honest than the happily-ever-after phrase above.

Why are we so afraid of love that we cannot be honest about it?

“Love brings a thousand and one lies into life. It is humiliating. One feels caged, imprisoned, compromised. One feels paralyzed, crippled. One feels chained in a thousand and one ways. That's why people are afraid of love.”

Osho, This Very Body the Buddha, Talk #10

When I say, “I will love you forever,” isn’t it true in that moment?

“It happens in everyday life – you love a woman and you say to the woman ‘I will love you forever and forever and forever'! After a few months the love has disappeared – now you feel guilty that you had promised that you would love forever. Now you want to depart – now it is impossible to be together. So you start feeling as if you were lying at that moment. No – that was the truth in that moment. When love is there, one feels that way. That's the feeling of love – that you would like to live together with the person forever.

“And it is not untrue – it is absolutely true. But it is the truth of the love moment. When the love moment has gone, it has taken its truth too. Now there is no love, so there is no question. And you are not breaking any promises. In fact, a true man cannot promise. And the more you understand, the more you will be less and less ready to promise, because how can you promise? Tomorrow will bring its own truth – how can you promise?”

Osho, What Is, Is, What Ain’t, Ain’t, Talk #8

I tell one lie and another follows – how do I stop?

“Bring one lie into your life and a thousand and one will follow. Bring one truth into your life and you will find a queue is standing there; many more truths are ready to come in. The same attracts the same.…”

“The moment you hide something from your lover it simply shows that you don't love him enough yet – otherwise why hide? Lovers should not have any secrets; they should be utterly open to each other. Then you will see that when you are utterly open fight by and by disappears, argumentation disappears. Otherwise out of twenty-four hours lovers spend twenty-three hours in fighting. This is such a costly affair and such a foolish thing!

“For twenty-three hours fighting and for one hour they are somehow loving… otherwise they are continuously arguing and nagging, trying to dominate, possess, manipulate, to do a thousand and one things which are not love at all. It is a miracle how love survives all these tricks and politics. Drop all possessiveness, drop all politics. Help each other and respect the other's freedom so that he can respect yours.”

Osho, The Further Shore, Talk #15

I find it so hard not to put conditions on the person I love.

“One of my basic messages to you is never to exploit love – that will be a great religious revolution in your life. Never exploit love. If somebody loves you, don't bring any conditions to it. If you love somebody, don't make him a cripple. Let your love become spacious. Give more space to the person than he had when he was alone. Give him nourishment. But don't poison his nourishment, don't possess him. Let him be free. More free than he ever was. And then love grows into deep intimacy.”

Osho, This Very Body the Buddha, Talk #10

I want to love in an honest way, but won’t my relationship fall apart if I stop playing my old game?

“It is impossible to live without love, so humanity has created a trick. Humanity has invented a trick, a device. The device is: to live in a false love so that the ego continues on its own. Nothing is changed and you can play the game of being in love: you can go on thinking that you love, you can go on believing that you love. But look at your love – what happens out of it? – nothing except misery, nothing except hell, nothing except conflict, quarrel, violence. Look deeply into your love relationships. They are more akin to hate relationships than to love. It is better to call them hate relationships than to call them love relationships.

“But because everybody is living in the same way, you never become aware. Everybody is carrying the false coin; you never become aware. The real coin of love is very costly: you can purchase it only at the cost of losing yourself. There is no other way.”

Osho, Come Follow to You, Vol. 4, Talk #6

“Love cannot be learned, it cannot be cultivated. A cultivated love would not be love at all. It would not be a real rose, it would be a plastic flower. When you learn something, it means something comes from the outside; it is not an inner growth. And love has to be your inner growth if it is to be authentic and real.

“Love is not a learning but a growth. All that is needed on your part is not how to learn the ways of love but how to unlearn the ways of unlove. The hindrances have to be removed, the obstacles have to be destroyed – then love is your natural, spontaneous being. Once the obstacles are removed, the rocks thrown away, the flow starts. It is already there – hidden behind many rocks, but the spring is already there. It is your very being.

“It is a gift, but not something that is going to happen in the future: it is a gift that has already happened with your birth. To be is to be love. To be able to breathe is enough to be able to love. Love is like breathing. What breathing is to the physical body, love is to the spiritual being. Without breathing the body dies; without love the soul dies.”

Osho, The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol. 3, Talk #4

“When love brings freedom, love goes deepest – love makes the other feel respected not humiliated, not destroyed but enhanced. When love feels nourishing, liberating, then love goes deepest. Then love becomes prayer. It becomes the utmost, the ultimate experience of life.

Osho, This Very Body the Buddha, Talk #10

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